What are fathers for
by Darian21
Summary: Fathery moment between Starbuck and Commander Adama shortly after finall battle for Carillon. BSG 78. Beta from wonderfull Anne McSommers.


What are fathers for

By Darian

Summary: Fathery moment between Starbuck and Commander Adama shortly after finall battle for Carillon.

Starbuck was nervously standing infront Commanders Adama office. He felt urge to start pacing, but corridor was too small for that . Everytime he went to knock he lost his courage at the last moment.

"Come on, don´t be such a coward" Starbuck mumled to himself, and then finally after what seemed like yahrens he knocked on the door.

"Enter"

Starbuck automaticly straitened his back after hearing that familiar voice and opened door.

Commander Adama was sitting behind his desk and was reading what appeared to be a damage report from the last battle with the Cylons. Starbuck sudenly felt angry at whole universe. The Commander looked yahrens older than he was, and had large bags under his eyes. 'He deserves better´thought Starbuck

'Frak. If it wasn ´t for these dammed cylons he could be retired with his wife back on Caprica. Siress Ila could make all his worries disapear in a micron, she was same as Zack in that way, always bringing smile to your…. Zack, frak the reason he was here now. Starbuck felt sudden stinging in his eyes.

Commander finnished reading report he was holding, and put it down on the table with metalic clink.

"How can I help you Lieutanant?" Kind blue eyes looked into his and Starbuck quickly looked in a different direction. 'How can he even stand to look at me, he must hate me so much right now´

"I … I know you propably don´t want to see me ever again commander….but I …" His voice gave out as tightness in his throat increased. He tried to continue, he really did, but the words seemed to choking him to death.

A warm hand suddenly appeared on his shoulder. Starbuck flinched under it ´s pressure. He didn't even notice that Commander had moved from his chair. 'some warrior you are´ snorted the little voice in his head

"Starbuck?" Again that kindness. He always uses that tone with Apollo. Starbuck sometimes tried to imagine if he had known his father, that if he would used that tone when speaking to him too.

"I´m sorry." He wispered finallyable to say it aloud, and tried to look everywhere but in those warm blue eyes full of sadness and pain.

"Starbuck what are…"

"It should have been me." He finally find courage to look up. "I was supossed to be on that patrol, not Zack. He begged me to let him fly it and … I did. It was me who should have died not him.

The Commander´s eyes instnatly hardened. , Finally he knows the truth, he will probably hit me, he should, he has every right and I deserve it. I deserve even worse ´

"Starbuck listen to me it wasn't your fault, I dont blame you. Zack told me he wanted to fly that patrol and I told him he could if he manage to persuade Apollo. It was supposed to be a peaceful mission. No one was expecting Cylons to betray us.

Warm tears started to roll down Starbuck cheeks.

"But if I didnt swapplaces with him both of your sons would be still alive. He didn´t deserve to die.

"And you think you do?"

"He was just a kid, If I died no one would have minded, not really. He had you and Apollo ….. and Athena."

The Commanders hand that was still on his shoulder squeezed him gently, and the other tenderly wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Starbuck, even if it was you who flew that patrol and not Zack I would still lost one of my sons."

Starbuck felt like he was punched in the chest. All colour drained from his already pale face.

"NO! I would never let something happen to Apollo. I swear sir….. please I swear. You have to belive me." Young warrior started to sob desperately ,and his knees gave out under him. Adama clasped his arms around him, before he fell onto hard deck, in a tight hug and tried to calm him down.

"Starbuck, Starbuck,…shhh… I know. I know. Thats not what I meant. I know you would have protected them both with your dying breath." Commander slowly petted golden hair with his aged hand.

"What I meant that even if it was your viper that vere destroyed I would still have lost one of my sons. Becose you are as much my son as Zack and Apollo are. I dont care that you aren´t my flesh and blood. I would have mourned you as badly as Zack or Apollo."

Starbucks hot tears soaked his uniform while he was holding him, but Adama didn´t care because one of his childrens needed him. Needed a shoulder to cry on.

And thats exacltly what fathers are for.


End file.
